La La How The Life Goes On

I Lice It Like That

Posted on: June 1, 2010

So we’ve been over the fact that Bambina has had lice FIVE times, right? And we’ve been over the fact that we can’t figure out how it’s just a relentless epidemic in her class, right? We’ve been over the fact that we have done so much laundry and so much nit-picking and so much lice vigilance, right?

So we have Bambina’s 6th birthday party this weekend at our house. It’s a lovely assemblage of totally lovely little girls from her class and old preschool. One of the sweet girls from her class walks in and blurts, “I can’t share anything with anyone today because I have lice!”


“Honey, do you mean you have lice right now? Today?”
“Yes!” (very sweetly and cluelessly)
“Did your mommy shampoo your hair today?”
“No. She said she’d do it later.”

Oh my god, can I tell you how hard it was for me to not throw this sweet lovely girl out of my house? Instead I just watched her like a hawk, had the kids do a bunch of things outside and started to look like an OCD freaker mommy with my “Everyone must sit in the SAME SEAT they sat in before!” instructions.

Honestly, no harm done. I can’t imagine that a single kid got one louse from this girl in the short time she was here. But that’s not the point, is it? The point is that her mom sent her into someone else’s house knowing that she had lice! It is really rather unconscionable, considering the stunning recurrence of lice in that classroom, not to mention basic parental decency. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it, quite frankly. Especially in light of the fact that we just had Bambina put on Bactrim, an antibiotic that kills the lice when they suck the blood from the scalp. After the fifth recurrence I called our pediatrician because we all know that shampoo is toxic with a capital T and I was feeling like five times in two months is waaay beyond the limit of what I’m going to administer to my kid. The doctor said that the lice could be Nix-resistant and that as long as one kid was not getting rid of them, they were just getting passed back and forth, no matter how clean I’m getting Bambina’s head. So this way with the meds, if a louse gets on her and bites her, it will die. I’ll still do nit-checking, but at least we’re out of the constant ongoing drama of lice infestation. But that’s what pisses me off: I’m fucking MEDICATING my child to stop this, and other parents can’t even fucking do the shampoo? That is just so not okay with me.

So while I’m complaining can I please take a moment to be a total bitch about people bringing extra kids, younger siblings to be specific, to a party to which they were not invited? We have family friends with three girls whom we always want to come together. Why? Because they are our friends and we like hanging out with them. That’s not what I’m talking about. Friends can bring anyone, anytime, no questions asked. I’m talking about random parent of my child’s friend who comes on over to a 6 year-old’s party with a 3 year-old and stays. Fair enough if you need to stay and need to have your child here. But please understand that I can’t babysit your child for you, I can’t give her any of the costumes/dress-up stuff we bought for the 6 year-olds nor can I give her a goody bag. Know why? Because you didn’t tell me she was coming so I didn’t buy or make one for her, not to mention that the goody bags probably aren’t age-appropriate for a three year-old. Feel free to stay, but please don’t add your little kid to the list of my responsibilities while you hang out and chat with the grownups. I mean, I felt so bad for this little girl, who was all, “Can I have a lei? Can I have a hair clip?” And I had to say, “Oh, I’m so sorry, I need all of these for the bigger girls.” Like, how about you explain to your little child that we are staying at the party, but we’re not AT the party? Or how about you kind of STAY NEAR your kid so I’m not managing this awkward moment with her alone, huh? It was excruciating, because I totally would have given her whatever if I’d had it, but you know how it is, you’re expecting 10 girls, you make maybe 11 things just in case. You don’t make 15. Or maybe YOU do, which is totally fine and I applaud you, but our budget doesn’t really allow for that, especially since things tend to be sold in dozens, so if you need 14 you have to buy 24, which we were not about to do.

So there you have it: it was a fun and lovely weekend but I spent much of it feeling bitchy and judgmental at people, which generally gives me untold joy, but this time around just made me bitchier and more judgy. Good times!


1 Response to "I Lice It Like That"

Holy $hit, Batman! This is considered a criminal offense in my book….both sending the untreated lice and uninvited siblings/pals to someone’s house. Rant away, chica! Your platform is made of granite.

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