La La How The Life Goes On


Posted on: June 11, 2010

The Dada and I were watching TV the other night when the fifteenth commercial for TGIFridays came on, urging me to try its Sizzling Chicken Whatever & Pasta and it’s Whiskey Grilled Cheesy Cheese Thing. The exhortations were accompanied by live action shots of the cheese pouring out of the chicken breast or the shrimp being drowned in sizzling jus of unknown origin, One can only assume that the video was intended to tempt my tastebuds into driving immediately to my local TGIFridays and gettinmesummathat.

Instead, I blurted, “Oh my god that is so disgusting!” Friends, you must understand something:

I am Scottish. I grew up eating animal organs.

One of my favorite dirty nasty foods that I no longer eat but secretly still want to is that Hormel Spreadable Chicken Paste in a can. It’s near the tuna and the deviled ham, and it is soooo good I seriously have to resort to 12-step techniques to not grab a tin of it as I pass by. I am simultaneously certain that it contains ground-up chicken penises and beaks, and yet I cannot stop thinking about how good it is on a hot slice of toast.

I think Spam is a valid food choice. I especially love it fried and on buttered white bread. Again, I don’t eat it because one can’t go around eating Spam, now, can one? But I still secretly yearn for it. Hard.

I eat Hot Pockets when pressed for time.

I think Salisbury Steak has earned the right to be called steak. One billion Hungry Man dinners can’t be wrong, right?

I think Dinty Moore is a lot like dog food, but that doesn’t make it any less tasty. Those are some lucky dogs, is all I can say.

I think ketchup and french toast go together beautifully.

So please believe me when I say that TGIFridays has plumbed the depths of food infamy if they can make ME not want melty cheesy sizzly food with suspect meat. Even if I can get it with an appetizer and dessert for $12.99.


2 Responses to "Unsavory"

Whiskey Grilled Cheesy Cheese kinda sounds good. 😉

I must say I feel the same about some of the Applebees commercials, but only stand them for the fabulousness of John Corbett’s voice…. so sad that he is now the Applebees guy

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