La La How The Life Goes On

Knees Up

Posted on: April 26, 2011

Top of the morning to you, darlings. I’m lounging on my couch, cooler at my feet, typing on my new Babydaddy-purchased IPad. Pretty cool. The lounging is not for fun, and the cooler is not for beer, unfortunately. I had knee surgery yesterday in an attempt to arrest the prednisone-fueled destruction of my bones. You see, our friend prednisone, while fabulous at taming the GVHD of a stem cell transplant, is also fabulous at qthinning your hair, making you gain weight, giving you insomnia—and destroying your bones and joints. With friends like that…

In any case, as is my family’s dubious honor, I have scared away yet another physician with the complicated nature of my issues. The plan was to do “core decompression” of my knee. Essentially, poking holes in the necrotic areas to stimulate blood supply and hopefully new bone growth. However, when he got in there and took a look around, he immediately yelled “abort!” and got outta Dodge. Things were apparently so bad that if he had drilled a hole, the entire knee would have collapsed. Supah!

So I’m taking a day or so to recover, eating oxycodone (which, if you haven’t tried it, you must dearie), and icing my knee with this giant cooler contraption that hooks up to a very thin ice pack. You fill it with ice, plug it in, and voila–no muss icing for hours. Beats that mooshy bag of corn

In other news, the kids are back at school! Thank you, Jesus! I am not kidding when I say that, by Wednesday of last week, I was straight-up homicidal with both of them at home. (Settle down, DSS, I AM just kidding. Kind of.) Oh my lord, I often joke that my kids were sent here to kill me, but last week I believed it. How can anyone possibly bicker over play-doh? You both have the exact same color in the exact same quantity! What could you POSSIBLY have to fight about? Well, let me fill you in:

She has more than me!
She’s touching me!
She’s in my space!
She took some of mine!
She keeps touching me!
She won’t give me the rolling pin!
She won’t give me the [insert stupid effing play doh tool here]!

And so it went, seemingly with every toy or game or activity we tried. Until I went psycho and started packing stuff up. Oh yeah.

New Rule: if it causes a fight, it becomes mine.

We only had to go through the loss of about four things (and the corresponding wailing, crying, begging, being sent to respective rooms, and slamming of doors) before they figured out I was seriously going to own their little asses if I heard one more unhappy, unsisterly peep from the Jones children. Which may explain why the next day was so pleasant. They learned their lesson, and I learned mine: Next vacation, go psycho mama MUCH earlier in the week.


4 Responses to "Knees Up"

You are awesome! Enjoy your Oxy ride while it lasts honey 🙂 Had you had those during vacation, things would have been MUCH different. By the way, your attitude is amazing and I love reading your posts and blogs. Hope you are up and about soon. =)

My boys know I will flip out when I start saying my mantra, “treat each other special . . . you have only one brother for the rest of your lives!” They know to run!

Oh sista friend…. preach the power of going psyco mom on their little asses…. Believe me, as one mom who was home with her 2 monsters 2 summers in a row (thanks to unemployment!) I def know the power of psyco mom!!
Sorry to hear of your latest medical ailment, but glad to see you continue to baffle the medical professionals!
Enjoy your medicly induced vacation!!
xoxo Jodster

[…] Knees Up « La La How The Life Goes On […]

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