La La How The Life Goes On

People on ‘ludes should not drive!

Posted on: May 2, 2011

Some cautionary tales from the drug life this week.   First, does anyone want some muenster cheese?  I ask because I ordered online grocery delivery after taking three oxycodones.  Which is why I now have 11 half-pound packages of muenster in my fridge instead of one.  

I then proceeded to promise something to someone “tomorrow.” I made this pledge at 11pm.  For a task that could in no way be completed in 36 hours much less twelve.

I then sorrowfully told the Babydaddy that he should return and be refunded for this terrible, no- good IPad, because I couldn’t find the Control Shift key and how can they produce any product lacking the desperately necessary Control Shift function?! It was a rant by someone who got high in 1993 and then travelled to the future, struck dumb by the lack of mainframe computing and….wait a minute..Donald Trump is running for President??!

Oh, you thought I was done bashing The Donald, didn’t you?  But I was just getting started!  I mean, he’s such low-hanging fruit that I ought to leave it alone, but at the same time it is such a rare day when so little intelligence meets such enormous self-regard that it becomes incumbent upon all good people to point and laugh.
This is me.  Not high.  Pointing and laughing.  

Okay, next. Bring on Michelle Bachman and we’ll have a good laugh at someone trying extremely hard to imitate Sarah Palin, only without the towering intellect and solid grasp of historical facts.

Those who love Sarah and Trump and all things Tea Party will call me a deluded junkie.  But nyah  nyah nyah to them, because first of all I’m  off the drugs now (my cheesetastic grocery bill was so high I can no longer afford them) and hello?  Isn’t “deluded junkie” just their alternate way of calling me  “liberal”?  

It is, and I am.

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