La La How The Life Goes On

We are the 88%

Posted on: October 18, 2011

That’s apparently how many stay at home moms do so “primarily to care for children.”. Um, what the hell else would you be doing if you are staying home? Lunching with your lady friends while your kids watch One Life To Live? Shtupping the tennis instructor? Following the nanny around saying how busy you are? If you are not raising your kids then who is? And why are you staying at home?

Do not misunderstand me. I’m not trying to engage in Mommy Wars on the side of SAHMs. I would go back to work tomorrow if it were at all possible for me to earn enough money to cover the cost of child care for two children. Actually, I can do that now. The key is finding a salary with which I’d do more than break even on child care. The BBDD and I did the math. If we spend my entire paycheck on child care, why bother with either the check or the child care? Unfortunately for some of our friends, the minor amount they do net after child care is money without which they cannot survive. WHICH IS WHY WE SHOULD OCCUPY WALL STREET!!!

I’m kidding. Although I do support the effort in theory, to a point. Here’s my take: this is America, and if you can get rich without hurting other people or harming our society, then you ought to go ahead and do it. Make as much money as you can, baby, with nothing but encouragement from me. But if you are getting rich by fucking people over, by engaging in shady (even if not outright illegal) tactics, and by all but driving the world economy to the brink of collapse, then you are a parasite, a cancer on all the people who do an honest day’s work and whose livelihoods, 401ks, investments can be destroyed by your actions. I laughed when I saw the pic of a Wall Street guy with a “we are the 1%” sign, because I’m pretty sure I went to school with some of these supposed “job creators,” and it reminded me of Barry Switzer’s crack about some folks being born on third base going through life thinking they hit a triple.

I am all for folks getting rich. I’m not all for folks being assholes, even if it’s legal and beyond the jurisdiction of the SEC. I’m not for people pretending they are Just Folks securing the American Dream when they are purely acting in self-interest to deny that dream to others. I’m not for people equating wealth with hard work. My father worked 3 and sometimes 4 jobs and somehow we never got rich…but we got by and got educated. I fucking dare you to spend one week in his worn-out shoes, banking executive. Then tell me what hard work looks like. I’m not for people pretending that the top 1% are all bootstrappers. One study showed that 69% of people on the Forbes 400 list had INHERITED their fortunes. Again, mazel tov on your riches, but don’t act like I’m leftie hippie scum because I’m not so impressed by you that I think your tax rate should be 0%.

Which brings me to leftie hippie scum. The Occupy Wall Street movement is marred by the same elements that mar every progressive event: the weirdo, niche-issue circle-jerkers. Yeah, I said it. When I was in college, back in my days of being a “womyn,” I would routinely work with local and regional groups to organize or participate in pro-choice marches, vigils, sit-ins, etc. We would work so hard to craft the right message with the aim of ideally changing people’s minds or simply halting harassment of women at clinics, etc. And then THEY would show up. The circle jerkers. The people so into their issue that they had lost sight of the whole “persuasion” side of things. They were there just to hear themselves talk and to preach to their own choir. Hence the lamentable “pussy power” signage, et. al., delivering a PR win for the other side, since we were all clearly potty mouthed sex freaks trying to rend the fabric of this quiet community with our liberal godless pussy-loving ways. It happened all the time and it always, always pissed me off.

Fast forward to Earth Day 2005. We were having a lovely time, celebrating God’s Green Earth…and THEY show up: the Free Mumia people. I challenge you to organize any liberal/progressive event and NOT have the Mumia people show up and co-opt it. Can’t be done, folks. They are the “Birthers” of the Left. They will have their cop-killer’s day in court (again) and they will use your mics to do it. My brother is a cop, so you know we bailed fast. I was having no part of that totally non-related issue hijacking the real cause. And not to worry. Should the Mumia people not ruin your event, the anti-Semites will. Apparently I am part of a group that controls all banking, media and entertainment in the world. In addition, between fasting and praying and eating matzo and yelling “Good Yuntiff!” across temple parking lots, we are reportedly also meeting secretly to plan all of the world’s conflicts. I know it’s true because a smelly dude with a human microphone said so. Now, maybe it’s because I’m part of the 88% who, being moms, are as busy as a one-legged guy in a butt-kicking contest, but the Secret Memo To All Jews, RE: world domination through conflagration and commoditization did not arrive at my home.

Damn… If only we controlled the postal system too.


1 Response to "We are the 88%"

You ARE writing a book, aren’t you?

Aren’t you?

God, you’re good.

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