La La How The Life Goes On

Archive for December 2012

Long-time readers know how desperately important New Year is to Scottish people. Hogmanay (New Years Eve) specifically. The good people at Laphroiag USA have provided this quick summary so I don’t have to:

Hogmanay is the Scottish New Year’s festival that commemorates the solar divinity Hogmagog.
In former times, animal hide was wrapped around sticks and ignited, producing a smoke that was said to be very effective against evil sprites. This talismanic smoking stick was itself known as a Hogmanay. In all the traditions and customs surrounding Hogmanay, one theme predominates: the new year must begin on a happy note, with a clean break from all that may have been bad in the previous year. It is from this underlying hope that the most common of all Hogmanay traditions has its root, that of the new year resolution

My resolution for my kids simply involves me celebrating who they are, making a mighty effort to differentiate between loving correction and guidance and trying to make someone comport with who and what *I* think they should be. It’s a real fine line so easily crossed, and I resolve to bold it with my Sharpie when I see it.

This is my celebration for the BabyDaddy, a man among men. The loveliest and funniest of kind and good souls for whom I thank God every day that I get to be on this earth at the same time as him. What ludicrously serendipitous luck..and a terribly convoluted sentence structure. But you get my point. This is for him:


For Bambina, my beautiful bookworm and deep thinker:



For Baby Sister, in her own words, and perfectly upside down…the future cat/fairy/princess/rainbow who wants to hurt herself less but jump off a swing at max height.


And for my mom, the classic textbook Scottish wumman, who like all of us, misses my Dad most acutely on Hogmanay:


And, for me!


And, of course, for you:



Let It Go

Posted on: December 30, 2012

I have posted this in some form or another since 2007. Here it is again because it is still so powerful. I always preface this with my policy statement regarding my total lack of interest in/opinion of the Rev. Jakes and/or his ministry. All I know is that this little nugget of wisdom blew my doors off when I read it. As a result, I unloaded a few “friends,” cleansed my conscience, and escorted a few people out of the internal audience in my brain (you know, those random individuals from your past that reside in your psyche, seemingly waiting for you to accomplish something so you can imagine yourself getting to say “booya, muthafucka!” as if that old boyfriend/boss/teacher gives a rat’s ass that you lost 10 pounds, made partner or bought a sweet condo). My internal audience today contains my Dad, and my kids, and my conscience. I make choices that I hope honor my father’s memory, honor my children’s futures, and honor my own sense of right and wrong. Everyone else can pound sand. If you do nothing else in prep for the new year I recommend reading this sermon—and then clearing out that audience of unworthies in your head. May your doors be blown off in 2013!

By T. D. Jakes
>There are people who can walk away from you.

>And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you:
>let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk another person into
>staying with you, loving you, calling you, Caring about you, coming to
>see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

>When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is
never tied to anybody that left.

>The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made
>manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt
>they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

>People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are
not joined to you, you can’t make them stay.

>Let them go.

>And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that
their part in the story is over And you’ve got to know when people’s part in
>your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.

>You’ve got to know when it’s dead.

>You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell
>you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual
>gift, I believe in good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m
>faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it
to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging
people to stay.

>Let them go!!

>If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was
>never intended for your life, then you need to……


>If you are holding on to past hurts and pains…

>If someone can’t treat you right, love you
>back, and see your worth…..


>If someone has angered you …….


>If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge……


>If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction…..


>If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or


>If you have a bad attitude…….

>If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better……


>If you’re stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new
level in Him……


>If you are struggling with the healing of a broken


>If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help


>If you’re feeling depressed and stressed …..


>If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling
>yourself and God is saying “take your hands off of it,” then you need

>Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new
>thing for 2007!!!


>Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then ..


Hi friends! I am so enjoying our family staycation. First year we haven’t traveled over the holidays in a long time, and please believe me when I say it is AWESOME. Try it next time. You will like it.

As we approach the end of 2012, I thought I’d share some of my more profound thoughts with you as you craft your no-doubt rock solid resolutions for 2013. I’ll share my specific resolutions in the post after this. In the meantime, enjoy!






Truest True Words Ever

LIfe Changing Info

Mine are a 1 and a 4. And seeing this has been so helpful in understanding how to raise them. Everything with Baby Sister is about fun and love and feeling included. Everything about Bambina is about feeling respected and being part of discussions/decisions.

It’s been a while since I have had a good, enjoyable rant in these pages, so here is the latest download:

1. Dear Neighbor, just because I am a Stay At Home Mom does not mean I am carte blanche available to watch your children on short notice. Were your needs truly “short notice” I would be delighted to help out. However, it seems by the recurring frequency of your requests (with often one day’s heads up) that your interpretation of same is more accurately described as “not bothering to set up appropriate day care because you have a neighbor for that.” Please stop. In the meantime, I’m going to have to say no even at the times when I could say yes to ensure you cease viewing me as your (un)official back up child care center. Why? Because even though I don’t get the fun of going to a place full of other adults talking about adult things and being, you know, adult humans who then bring home a check full of money, I do have actual real shit to take care of, as ad-hoc as my “job” might seem to you. Because the mere 3 1/2 hours a day that I am sans children are actually pretty packed…and not with watching Oprah, doing pilates or shtupping my yoga instructor. For example, at least one or two days a week are completely eaten up by my Dana Farber appointments. One of which involves me leaving my house at 5am, getting the treatment, running home, jamming some food in my face then picking up baby sister from preschool. The day leaves me pretty much physically ruined for 24 hours afterward: tired, dehydrated and ready for bed by 7pm, hanging by my fingernails. So, yeah, I’m “home” and “not working” but I’m thinking you don’t want to trade with me, right?

2. Which leads us to The Good People of Dana Farber. Oh my lord, TOO MUCH SERVICE, Dana Farber! My recent infusion for my osteoporosis was punctuated by a hipster-looking dude clutching a fancy bottle of lotion. He was from the Something Something Care Team, and they offer patients undergoing chemo, etc “relaxing massages in your chair.” Oh. Dear. God. No. The only person I dread more than a hospital chaplain or a roving Christmas harpist…is the While-U-Wait Masseur. First, because I am a child. I simply cannot separate massages from sex, or if not actual intercourse, at least sexytimes. The second the hipster dude (very professionally, to be fair) offered the massage, I immediately sized him up, like, “yeah, you look like a kid who knew his way around a bottle of a lubriderm back in the day. I’ll take a pass.” Second, because I have no interest in prettying up my hospital visit. It’s an item on my lengthy to do list, a series of seemingly never-ending items that already suck up too much of my time and energy. You’ll forgive me for wanting to get there, git ‘er done, and get out. Do I use this time to laugh and joke with the awesome staff and other cool patients? Perhaps read a People Magazine or two to stay up to date on The Royal Baby ™? Absolutely. I am always thrilled to interact with grown ups and get gossip. But do I want these grown ups greasing me up and rubbing me down? No, sir, I do not. So I now beg of DF to provide fewer services. USA Today senior citizen man with his cart full of papers and coffee and snack wells? Keep! Roving bands of Millennials offering me reiki, massage, art therapy and other trifles of sociology-based human relations majors and minors from exclusive liberal arts institutions? No thanks. 😉

3. Speaking of fewer good things, this is the point in Chanukah where I wish that Maccabee oil had given out after, maybe, 4 days. Eight days of presents, folks. Eight days of jacked-up children who are now suddenly all about family togetherness where it involves candle lighting (gifts and candy). Eight days of them not really eating dinner because they are too excited for the candles (gifts and candy). Eight days of them being giddy about the victory of the Jewish people over oppression and assimilation (gifts and candy). It’s like 8 consecutive Christmas Eves with all the crazy that entails. And we don’t even get them awesome gifts! (Night 3! Enjoy your book and socks!) it’s just too damn much. Next year: I say we do it all the first night. 8 gifts, one night. And then it’s all about the candles. (Candy?)

Until next time, Happy (still!) Chanukah and a joyeux Advent, mes amis! I’m off to DF. Maybe today they’ll be offering haircuts-while-u-wait. Just in time for Christmas! (And more Chanukah).

‎”It s a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season–like all the other seasons–is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them.” –Lemony Snicket.

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